I feel insane.
The brilliant part of my insanity
is
that it’s invisible.
The calm in the storm is my mask
and the face that I
hide behind
that is capable and mirror-glass smooth.
And in that surface,
I let people see what they need
and who they choose to believe is
there
and a reflection of their own mask.
Underneath, deep inside
husky
smoke-glass surfaces-
are deep waves and swells.
Spikes of
electric veins cutting through the sky
and heavy hot tongues of gas inspired
flame.
In the flares of wind and pressure blasts
shards of glass and razor
fine shrapnel.
To invite anyone in-
is to bring them across the river
Styx.
I am Charybdis.
I am the Chimera, swallowing my own flame
until
it sears from the inside out.
This was written when I was in the process of losing my mind to paranoia for a while over this summer. I just couldn't talk about things for a while there and on the surface I'm sure I seemed very calm from the outside but I was also so paranoid and freaked out that I missed work for a week because I couldn't go outside, and mostly just watched Star Trek on repeat several dozen times.